


The mess you make

by carrowfly



Series: Ride or Die [2]
Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: F/F, F/M, Feeding, Sexual Tension, Toxic Relationship, they're just so fucked up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-22
Updated: 2018-10-22
Packaged: 2019-08-05 21:10:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16375070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carrowfly/pseuds/carrowfly
Summary: Bonnalise and the mess they make together.Set pre S1.





	The mess you make

Annalise was exactly where Bonnie had left her two hours ago. At least that provided some relief. Bonnie had left her to sleep while she covered for her at the Keating office, but she’d been scared that in her absence, Annalise would just get herself into more trouble. Annalise had always said there was the mess life gave you and the mess you made, and she’d certainly had her fair share of both. Frankly, it was exhausting to keep up with.

Bonnie sighed and shut the hallway door behind her, placing her apartment keys on the windowsill and her bags on the floor. She made a motion to head into her kitchen and get the soup she had bought on the stove, but she hesitated for a moment, distracted by Annalise’s sleeping form. 

Annalise was snoring loudly on her sofa, but she looked at ease. Bonnie had just about managed to get her to settle there but it had taken some work. She’d have gladly given Annalise her bed, but she had been in no state to make it up the stairs last night. Annalise kept telling her she wanted to drive home, but she could barely even walk. Bonnie had no idea how the woman had even made it to her apartment last night, but she knew whatever had happened between her and Sam must have been terrible. 

After losing their baby the two volatile teachers had taken to their own methods of coping. Annalise had been drinking more regularly while Sam had taken to bedding his students. Rumour had it he was bedding one of the L1s. Bonnie wondered if Annalise might have discovered who. 

When Annalise had stumbled up to her door last night, Bonnie had been afraid she was going to accuse her of having an affair with Sam. Nothing had happened between them besides a lingering stare or two but Bonnie wasn’t certain that it wouldn’t. That very morning had been proof enough of that. 

Bonnie shuddered, a cold seeping through her bones as she squeezed her eyes shut. Sometimes she wanted to just scream and collapse to the ground in a heap or her own misery. Sometimes she did just that. Sam would have told her to focus on her breathing, to count backwards from 20 and stretch out her muscles. Annalise would have told her to roar until her throat bled.

After getting Annalise to lie back on the sofa, Bonnie had taken her shoes off. The act had felt more intimate than she'd ever admit it. Holding Annalise's calm tenderly on her own lap, she'd unbuckled the delicate clasp. The cherry red shoes had slid off her feet easily. Bonnie's breath had caught in her throat the moment Annalise dragged her foot across Bonnie's thigh. Startled Bonnie had hurried into her hallway to stow away the shoes. When she'd returned, Annalise was deep asleep. 

Now morning had broke, Annalise was looking rather dishevelled, but that was a small price for safety. She certainly seemed serene here than she had last night when she was screaming bloody murder on Bonnie's porch. Bonnie wondered why her neighbours hadn’t rang the police to check on them. Annalise had showed up at 1am banging on her door and yelling something fierce. Did Bonnie scream so often in her sleep that they’d become used of the sound from her apartment?  


She decided she didn’t really want the answer to that. 

Bonnie walked into the kitchen and emptied the soup into a pan. She wondered if Sam knew she was lying to him that morning when she told him Annalise had a case related matter to handle out of town. He'd certainly been suspicious when Bonnie claimed that she had just returned to the Keating home to pick up a few of Annalise's things she'd been unable to when she’d set off. "She'll just be gone for a few days for the case ." She'd murmured softly, meeting his gaze in an attempt to sell the lie.

"Why would she leave without her laptop and a change of clothes?" He’d asked her, standing just a fraction too close to her and asking in a lower toned voice she recognised as an attempt to manipulate her into telling him the truth. He’d brushed her arm with his fingers and her heart fluttered. Bonnie had leaned into him then, her doe like eyes looking up at him expectantly. It was the smirk that crept across his lips that brought her back to reality and reminded her of his wife in her apartment. “I-I’ve got to go.” She stuttered, pushing herself away from him.

“You don’t have to go anywhere.” He offered her gently, but it sounded more like a threat as he grabbed her wrist. “Annalise is waiting for me.” Bonnie argued, wide eyes indicating she felt trapped. Sam released her and stepped aside. “We have time if you’re ok making her wait.” 

Sam always thought he was giving her what she wanted, that he could manipulate her by giving her the attention she craved. A vision of them both naked and entwined on the Keating bed flashed through her mind. 

With a dry throat, Bonnie shook her head. “I have a long drive.” She said weakly, her childlike voice rearing its ugly head again. Bonnie hated how it made her sound. Sometimes she hated this house. Sam and Annalise were as bad as each other when it came to bend her to their own desires, but she had no one else. Bonnie cared for no one else. She loved them both. 

Bonnie had grabbed Annalise’s belongings and rushed to her car without a second look back. She just hoped Annalise would be where she had left her. Just one more errand to run before she returned home. Bonnie had soup to collect.

Bonnie heard a noise in the living room which suggested the dead had finally awoken. She turned the heat down and headed through with a glass of water. Show time.

“Wassat?” Annalise grunted, her words slurred between a mixture of grogginess and stale alcohol. She pushed herself up, awkwardly sitting up on the sofa she had been sleeping on to meet her intruder. “’Sat you Bonnie?” Annalise was wearing her wig but it was dishevelled from being worn during sleep.

“Yeah, it's me. I just have water,” Bonnie replied, her tone as stiff as her form. Did Annalise remember where she was? Did she know what had happened last night? Would she smell Sam’s aftershave on her? Panicked thoughts chased each other through her mind and she swallowed hard. “Here,” she forced herself to say, passing Annalise the glass. “I’m just going to bring you some soup through.”

Bonnie held a tray with a bowl of chicken soup perched on top of it next to a plate with a couple of buttered slices of brown bread. Just the way Annalise liked it. 

“Wassit for?”

“You need to build your strength.” Bonnie said softly, still hovering beside the sofa with the tray in an awkward fashion. Annalise pulled a face and groaned. “Eat,” Bonnie urged but the command was gentle with a hint of trepidation. Bonnie always felt uncertain of herself when the power dynamic shifted between them.

Who was she kidding? Annalise held all the cards just like she always had. 

However, Annalise seemed receptive to the suggestion and sat up a little straighter, pulling the blanket over her lap. Bonnie placed the tray down and crouched in front of her. 

“You gonna watch me eat Bonnie?”

“No… I mean-I.” Bonnie stood up, tumbling over her words. She realised she had been staring at Annalise but truly she’d been in a world of her own. “Y-you can call me if you need me?”

Annalise shrugged and picked up the spoon. “You make this yourself?” Her voice was hard, and her words slightly slurred still. Clearly, she hadn’t slept off all the alcohol yet. Bonnie hoped that didn’t mean she was going to be mean. Though she almost felt like a child for even thinking that way. Surely after all these years she could handle Annalise at her worst?

“I picked it up in town from that place you like.” Her words were edged with the tone a child used when showing artwork to their mother. 

Brown eyes drifted to Annalise’s hands which were shaking vigorously. Bonnie supposed two litres of vodka would do that to a person. Even a person with a constitution like Annalise’s. They were both lucky she hadn’t got alcohol poisoning or needed the hospital last night. Scrubbing her bathroom floor flashed through her mind. Bonnie wondered if Annalise could still smell the acrid lemon bleach like she could.

“I’ll get you a change of clothes and the shower is free for when you’re ready. I’ve left a fresh towel on the rack.” Bonnie began, ready to dismiss herself from her own living room as though she was in Annalise’s office.

“Feed me.” Annalise demanded taking Bonnie by complete surprise. 

“W-what?”

“I’m shaking Bonnie, I can’t do it myself.”

Bonnie hesitated for a moment before she kneeled awkwardly in front of her boss. She took the silver spoon from Annalise’s shaking hands and dipped it into the soup. Bonnie noticed her own hands were shaking now. This felt strangely intimate for the relationship the two of them were supposed to have. Bonnie wasn’t sure if they even had boundaries that hadn’t been broken anymore. 

Bonnie raised the spoon to Annalise’s lips and she opened her mouth. Bonnie waited for Annalise to move forward and take the spoon in her mouth. Her eyes pierced Bonnie’s own as she swallowed the soup. “Mmmm, that’s good.” Annalise said, “you always did know how I like it Bonnie.”

The statement surprised her, and Bonnie dropped the spoon, it clattered on the tray and Bonnie shot up to her feet. “I-I have to…” She stuttered before disappearing into her kitchen. That was the second time she’d fled a Keating today. What the hell was wrong with them?


End file.
